by Ziliro Mchulu
Judith Gondwe

Candid talk a column in Sunday Nation titled “Can you do me a favour” authored by the columnist Edith Gondwe is popular this week, why? Because it has tackled a sensitive and critical topic. Edith Gongwe has taken a big step in her writings and those of us who follow her can appreciate that she has gone beyond creative writing, she is now more critical. “Can you do me a favour?” article has won the hearts of many men because they are the ones favouring the Gojasi’s. However, some women are happy too especially those making their own money while the beggars are out shouting, protesting and calling Edith sorts of names including some body-shaming stunts on Twitter. That tells you kuti Kabaya kanthu kaja.

The issue in the Edith-gate needs no debate, what this article wants is to do a bit of reflection on the causes of these requests. Why do they need a favour? A favour is sought from someone deemed capable of offering it. In this case, women or girls labelled “Gojasi” ask for a favour from men and mostly money. The other favours like sexual marathons are received without protest and we know why.

Why does she ask for a money favour? Many men in trouble of “favour” relationships are these types of men who run relationships or friendships on principles of transactions. These are men who fail to first build mutual relationships with these Gojasi’s and they use their money to do the talking. They meet a gojasi and all they say is my money my car my house. Every issue to them is solved by money and when the gojasi realises that I am in love with an ATM she starts thinking of ways of getting the cash. You cannot just ask for money from someone, you need a good reason and a favour sounds good.

A girl cannot just start hitting you with a favour request, if you started with money be sure to sustain the relationship with it. Actually, some men only complain when they have no money but when they have the money, they spend it on these favours because to them that’s a sign of power in a relationship. In this case, some men are victims of their quest to be masculine.

The other thing is that some of these men are in love with home based commercial sex workers who see money in anything. To them, a take-home package is what matters most. If you do not transact or if they don’t take their share then they cannot be yours. In fear of losing her space between the legs, we do her the favours. Let’s not shout ee Edith watithandiza EEEE Edith ubwele ku SMAM, eee Edith ubwele ku Mens conference, enanu you are suffering from your quest of being masculine and ‘realman’ to gojasi. Some of you are going out with small pikin nah, what do you expect from her? She is doing you a favour of making you enjoy from the fresh generation, she does not need your old stories at a bonfire, she needs the favours, the money.

Otherwise, we have seen men taming girls to normal beings who do not trouble them with the begging game. Men who have told the gojasi in the mouth that I can do this and not this. If you are afraid of telling her what you can and cannot do with your money, don’t complain in public. You run a relationship with a full brain and gojasi siapisa mmatumba, if you set a precedence of being Jesus, be ready to sustain her to heaven. Otherwise, Edith has said it better. We need the favours. Munatiyamba.


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